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Flow of Day 3
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Story of Day 3
by Ai Vuong Day three is our second, and last full day together. Just as I am beginning to settle into the morning practices and my body begins to attune to the others around me, I am also preparing myself to say goodbye. Day three is always tough for me: It is a reminder that we are bound by the constraints of time. We are a shifting constellation, and when we make choices to step up, step in and show up to connect with another person, we still must continue moving.
If I take a deep breath, I realize the sensation of standing at the edge of time creates space for presence and gratitude. I exhale in the morning circle, grateful for this space and all of people who have stepped into the circle. The gratitudes linger as we organize ourselves into a semi-circle to learn about Powerful Questions. What makes a question powerful? How do we craft questions that lead to more curiosity? Is life not but a series of endless questions? What questions are arising in me? What new possibilities do these questions invite? Which questions have the most energy right now? Swirling in those questions, we go on a Solo Walk. As I walk, inhaling in the fresh Ninh Binh air, the sun rays tingling on my skin, I navigate those questions in my body: which ones occupy space in my mind, and which are the ones which occupy my heart? After about thirty minutes of the solo walk, we gather again the room for the Wicked Questions Game, a method to invite more questions from others in order to sharpen our own. Each participant is asked to write his/her question on a piece of paper and sit in a chair in front of others. This is my third training in Art of Hosting, and the Wicked Questions Game is the first technology in which you are invited to sit facing others, who are responding to your question in the form of more questions. There is no equality or even distribution of energy. The focus is primarily on the person sitting in the chair with the question in black and white in front of their chest: How can I practice self-compassion? How can I create a deeper relationship with my brother? How can I have tough conversations with my mother? It is vulnerable. It is isolating. It is also invigorating as each of the four people in the other chairs bring up questions that you had never thought of, or perhaps questions you have been avoiding yourself. |
After five rounds, with each person’s turn in the ‘hot seat,’ we gather back into small circles to reflect on how our question has shifted. Some people reframed their question, others’ questions stayed the same. For some people, they threw out their old questions entirely. What we are left with is a sense of expansion. There is more space to explore our questions even further.
After such an intense session, we needed some movement. We needed levity! We shifted to The Rope Game. Standing in a circle (of course!), we are asked to hold onto the end of a rope, and then silently tangle ourselves together. After we are all properly knotted up, we are asked to untangle ourselves. In the process of tangling, intertwining, and knotting ourselves with this group of people, what did we learn?
That we each have a role to play. We need the cooperation of all. That sometimes, words hinder rather than help. That only the people who were holding onto the rope could untangle themselves, which means only those of us in our relationship systems are the ones to solve our problems. I learned that depending on how I step into the game, I either flow with everyone else, or I am out of sync and bump into others and create friction. How I step out of the game is dependent on how I step into the game.
Moving back into the room, we are now on a Knowledge Expedition. At this point, we have already learned so much, it may seem we are filled to the brim with knowledge and conversations and learning. But just as you are on your learning edge, you discover you can push that edge just a little big further. There are many paths on the Knowledge Expedition and it is up to you, the participant, to choose which path you’ll explore. You can choose 8 Breaths, Limiting Beliefs, Systemic Constellations, Non-violent Communication, and Appreciative Inquiry. After separating into our separate learning journeys, we came back together to listen and learn from each other.
Nearing the end of the day, we wrap up with Open Space Technology. It is a final opportunity to call for conversations that are alive within us, but there hasn’t been the space to have them: What are the transformative conversations that need to happen in your relationships?
In our marketplace, we saw that our definitions of relationships took many forms. How do we start to redefine the purpose of our families? How to engage people with different beliefs or work ethics? How do I reduce the pain of my parents when I ask them to accept something that hurts them? How can we re-imagine our relationship to money?
As the questions emerged, we slowly settled into the conversations where we felt pulled. In our OST, we allowed time for two rounds. However, the beauty and magic of open space lies in its constant shifting. When we pause for a moment, slowly down to notice the small shifts that are happening, we open our eyes to the greater shift unfolding.
The day is now coming to a close. Tomorrow, we converge. Tomorrow, we say goodbye. But today, right now, have we said all we wanted to say? Have we weaved our conversations together with the people with whom we wanted?
As the evening winds down and moon appears in the sky, more conversations are abuzz. People break off into small social groups, making the best most of the final evening together. They go on walks to top of the temple, or they sit underneath one of the many trees and laugh together. My body, my emotions are tired from the processing, but my spirit is high. Small shifts are happening inside me, as I begin to make sense of what’s happened, even if it doesn’t make any sense at all.
After such an intense session, we needed some movement. We needed levity! We shifted to The Rope Game. Standing in a circle (of course!), we are asked to hold onto the end of a rope, and then silently tangle ourselves together. After we are all properly knotted up, we are asked to untangle ourselves. In the process of tangling, intertwining, and knotting ourselves with this group of people, what did we learn?
That we each have a role to play. We need the cooperation of all. That sometimes, words hinder rather than help. That only the people who were holding onto the rope could untangle themselves, which means only those of us in our relationship systems are the ones to solve our problems. I learned that depending on how I step into the game, I either flow with everyone else, or I am out of sync and bump into others and create friction. How I step out of the game is dependent on how I step into the game.
Moving back into the room, we are now on a Knowledge Expedition. At this point, we have already learned so much, it may seem we are filled to the brim with knowledge and conversations and learning. But just as you are on your learning edge, you discover you can push that edge just a little big further. There are many paths on the Knowledge Expedition and it is up to you, the participant, to choose which path you’ll explore. You can choose 8 Breaths, Limiting Beliefs, Systemic Constellations, Non-violent Communication, and Appreciative Inquiry. After separating into our separate learning journeys, we came back together to listen and learn from each other.
Nearing the end of the day, we wrap up with Open Space Technology. It is a final opportunity to call for conversations that are alive within us, but there hasn’t been the space to have them: What are the transformative conversations that need to happen in your relationships?
In our marketplace, we saw that our definitions of relationships took many forms. How do we start to redefine the purpose of our families? How to engage people with different beliefs or work ethics? How do I reduce the pain of my parents when I ask them to accept something that hurts them? How can we re-imagine our relationship to money?
As the questions emerged, we slowly settled into the conversations where we felt pulled. In our OST, we allowed time for two rounds. However, the beauty and magic of open space lies in its constant shifting. When we pause for a moment, slowly down to notice the small shifts that are happening, we open our eyes to the greater shift unfolding.
The day is now coming to a close. Tomorrow, we converge. Tomorrow, we say goodbye. But today, right now, have we said all we wanted to say? Have we weaved our conversations together with the people with whom we wanted?
As the evening winds down and moon appears in the sky, more conversations are abuzz. People break off into small social groups, making the best most of the final evening together. They go on walks to top of the temple, or they sit underneath one of the many trees and laugh together. My body, my emotions are tired from the processing, but my spirit is high. Small shifts are happening inside me, as I begin to make sense of what’s happened, even if it doesn’t make any sense at all.
Teach: Powerful Question
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Further resources: Powerful Question pdf
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Wicked Question Game
Transformation Expedition
- Appreciative Inquiry (Hosted by Ellie Nguyen)
Further resources: What is Appreciative Inquiry? & Appreciative Inquiry Commons - 8 Breaths (Hosted by Mel Geltch)
Further resources: 8 Breaths Video - Limiting Beliefs (Hosted by Steve Ryman)
Further resources: Transforming Limiting Beliefs guide - Systemic Constellations (Hosted by Narayan Silva)
- Non-Violent Communication (Hosted by Louise Liu Yi)
Further resources: The Heart of Nonviolent Communication
8 Breaths
Limiting Beliefs
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8 Breaths
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